What Makes a Mom?

After finally watching the first episode of the second season of Finding Carter there was an interesting twist presented in the story that got me thinking.  It turns out the crazy lady that kidnapped Carter when she was 3 was an egg donor for the parents. She felt like because they were her eggs the twins that resulted in the donation/pregnancy were her daughters. This episode along with the upcoming Mother's Day holiday got me thinking- what makes a person a mom? I've been lucky enough to have the world's most amazing mom ever. Above is a picture of her with my two youngest girls.
Mom. The word can describe many different people and different situations.

There's of course the traditional mom. The woman who gave birth to you (from one of her eggs), raised you, feed you, clothed you, taught you etc.

But there are other kinds of moms. Single dads that raise their children doing their best to support the children's needs as both parents.  Step-moms raising children that although they may not have given birth to, they love and care for as if they did.  Grandmas raising or having an active role in children's lives when a mom is not present or unable to fulfill her role. Foster moms, taking in children that are not hers into her home and becoming a mom for them sharing her love, time and resources with them. Neighbors that treat all the neighborhood children as though they were their own, guiding, protecting, supporting and loving them.  Aunts who spend time with nieces and nephews and in some cases provide for or support them financially, emotionally, or spiritually.  Cousins, Sisters, Teachers, the list goes on.

So what makes a mom?  If we were to classify it only by it's biological terms- the provider of the egg, then giving birth to and raising the child that would leave a LOT of people out of the great honor of the title of Mom.

Yourdictionary.com defines "mom" as- "a person who has given birth to a child or who has responsibility for the care of children."

Urbandictionary.com defines "mom" as- "The woman who loves you unconditionally from birth, the one who puts her kids before herself and the one who you can always count on above everyone else. 
Just telling her your problems makes you feel better because mom's always know how to make it all go away. 
Even if you fight, know that she's just looking out for your best interests."

Although I like urban dictionary's definition better it still leaves out a lot of moms.  But the theme is there, the idea of what a mom is. 

So here is my idea of what makes a mom: a mom is someone who loves you unconditionally, no matter how long she has known you. She makes sacrifices for you, wants you to succeed, wants you to grow and learn and become the best version of yourself possible. She sees your potential even when you don't see it yourself and she will hold you to that standard.  Her every happiness is sometimes dependent on your own.  Her heart breaks to see you sad, miserable or in pain. She would give her life to save yours.  She will lecture you, teach you, hold you accountable, surprise you, bless you, comfort you, feed you, support you, listen to you, believe in you.

So to those non-traditional moms, no matter how you came into the life of your child be it adoption, surrogacy, in vitro, marriage, fostering, or just plain luck, you are still a mom and have the honor, responsibility and privilege of placing your influence into the life of your child.  Know that your child is less concerned with you being their "traditional" mom and more grateful for who you are and that they have you in their life.  You may be all they know as a mom, and you have the ability to hold a special place in their heart just like they will in yours.

To all moms, enjoy each moment with your children.  Love them, spend time with them, make them your priority, teach them, because some day you may need them to take care of you and you will experience their knowledge and priorities first hand.  It's the circle of life and the circle of love.

Happy Mother's Day!