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Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Are you a child collector?


It seems as though the mentality towards large families have changed drastically over the years.  Instead of large families being celebrated and admired we parents with 3 or more kids are now considered "child collectors" as though we would only have negative intentions in having so many kids.  2.1 children is the national acceptable amount of kids per family, which is funny because that means only 1 out of every 10 couples would have 3 kids.
I came across this article and LOVED it!  She says it perfectly:
http://longrunblog.com/2014/06/06/when-did-we-start-hating-big-families/

As the youngest of 9 children and being married to a man who is the oldest of 8, we both grew up in, love and believe in large families!  We have a yours, mine and ours family.  We are expecting our second baby together, my 4 kids from my first marriage live with us, and my  husband has 3 kids from his first marriage that unfortunately we don't have contact with. (due to his ex)

I am ok with whatever your choice in family size is and promise I wont be rude to you just because you only have 2 kids, or maybe even chose not to have any.  But my personal opinion is that married couples should have at least 2 kids.  I've known too many people that were the only child and they have some serious issues! haha, but seriously, when a child is raised as an only child they get this "God" complex that the world revolves around them.  It not only affects their relationships with others as they become adults, but sometimes even affects their professional life.  Let me go into a little more detail-

Compromise- as an only child they didn't have to share toys, bedroom, clothes, parental time, friends, food, or anything else with another sibling.  So they don't get the opportunity to learn how to share, compromise, and come to fair and justified resolutions with others.  (at least not as much as those raised with siblings)  When you have more than one child you will end up referring fights and teaching these concepts, but it's better your kids learn them now then struggle as adults!

Empathy- when you are raised with siblings and the fights associated with them, you learn to put yourself in other people's shoes.  You remember how mad you were when a sibling did something to you and you can relate to the feelings of others.  This isn't to say that those that are only children can't learn this, but it is definitely something that having siblings gives you more exposure to!

Team work- when there's lots of siblings children learn to work together.  More kids means more mess, more food, more preparation, etc.  Working together makes things more efficient.  They learn to have an attitude of service for each other to help for  the greater good.  Those raised as only children may experience this through outside sources such as groups, sports, etc. but again it's "part time learning".

Learning by example- when you already have kid(s) the younger ones pick things up from their older siblings. Things like talking sooner, potty training sooner, etc. maybe because it's easier to relate to another kid, or they have someone to look up to and want to be like.  Plus my older kids teach the younger ones some of the cutest and funniest things it keeps for an entertaining household!

Ok I'll get off my "only child syndrome" soap box now.  I understand sometimes it's not possible for parents to have more than one child, and that happens.  I'm just saying if you CAN, it's a good idea to have more than 1 child- give the kid a buddy!

Having 5 (almost 6) kids at home there's always someone to play with, something to do, and of course something to clean!  Each child brings their own unique talents, abilities and personality to our family and we love each and every one of them!

If you are just starting your family, hang in there! I've always said the first 5 years are the hardest because as the parents you're doing everything.  Once your oldest gets to be about 5 years old they are able to help clean up after themselves, get themselves dressed, hold a bottle for the baby etc. that helps lighten the load of the parents.  And it gets even better when your oldest gets to be 10-12 and old enough to babysit!!


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